FAIRYLAND (um, not free)

I will forever regret not visiting Fairyland sooner. As some of you know, New to the Neighborhood will soon be moving to a new hood, the City of Roses, which removes the possibility of future documentary fame by removing us from proximity to this fantastic amusement park. Located at Lake Merrit, Fairyland is best known for their puppet shows set on various stages throughout. If you miss the shows, you still will have ample entertainment perusing the fairytale sets that hark back to a pre-PC time. Somebody must do a film about this place, it is that good.

FAIR OAKS STREET FAIR (free!)

Every year on the Saturday before Mother's Day, Fair Oaks street drags down the attic boxes, cleans out the closets, rethinks the living room decor, and holds a giant garage sale. And we mean huge! It attracts thousands so come early and get your homemade tamales, lemonade and cookies, new used books/couches/toys/clothes/art/trinkets and treasures. (you may even find a one-of-a-kind for your one of a kind mom).

If it is raining next year, just go the Saturday following Mother's Day, and in between don't forget to mark Fair Oaks down as your Halloween party spot. They absolutely tear it up for the kids.

RED POPPY ART HOUSE: FREE SATURDAYS

You may have noticed at the corner of 23rd and Folsom a pretty painted flower vase on the wall. Or, a while back, a piano that sat outside inviting the public to play. Now, if you go by the Red Poppy Art House on Saturday afternoons, you will see a clatch of kids outside painting, playing with clay, sidewalk drawing or making shadow puppets. Through July, this Gallery and workshop space will be hosting free drop-in art classes for kids. Ruth painted a musing in pink and blue, as well as the drum splat shown here. The volunteers are cheerful, welcoming, and bilingual. Ruth is a little young to truly appreciate what they have to offer (they are really set up for the 5-10 age group) but they were happy to set her up and let her loose in their paints and brushes, which they provided.
Thank you Red Poppy.

CABLE CAR MUSEUM: ALWAYS FREE!

It sounds cheesy, touristy, boring, much like most toddler activities (add a balloon and you have tears too!). It has the requisite kitschy gift shop with plenty of expensive t-shirts and tree ornaments, but everything else in this place is genuine, non-replica interesting. The best part: the museum is housed over the actual working guts of the cables. You have to see it, giant wheels spinning the Powell and California cars on their dedicated routes. For a complete day trip, start out with lunch at the House of Nanking (919 Kearny) and have the sizzling beef. This is one of the very best Chinese joints in the city, bar none. Unless you are a total glutton, you won't leave with that greasy sleepy dim sum feeling, and you don't even have to figure out what to order. Any hesitation over the menu and your server will bark, "you begetarian? you likea beef? you likea chicken? OK, I bring you someting." Just say thank you, it will be great. After lunch, hike all the way up Jackson, go one block left on Mason, check out the giant cables, then have coffee and rhubarb pie at the Gallery Cafe across the street. Walk back down through Chinatown, stop at the playground, enjoy your city.

EXPLORATORIUM, FREE WEDNESDAYS

Visiting this staple of the hands-on museum circuit is always fun for everyone, but do try to make the first Wednesday or you'll get soaked with a $13 admission. (kids, $8, -3 free) Everything there is pokable and prodable, a necessary element for curious kids (and their dads). Ruth visited when she was still on the verge of toddlerhood and found it pretty scary. This recent visit at two years two months proved to be a success, even for her cheap parents are trolling the free days like them dems. Her sister slept through the whole thing, as per usual.

LEGION OF HONOR, FREE TUESDAYS

Take the 38 (or your shared city car, it's way out there) all the way to a couple blocks before Geary turns into the Great Highway to this the Legion of Honor. If you are bringing your toddler go only on the first Tuesday when the $10 admission charge is waived or you may as well just use that Hamilton as TP. This is in no way a reflection on this fine institution, where the collection of statuary is one of the best in the city (not to mention those oozing rich colors of the renaissance) but a reflection of the toddler mind, which would rather be spending its time in the service alley out back, contemplating rocks, pointing out the cigarette butts, asking for a treat. It's "do everything you can for free" month at NTN. Expect much more in the weeks to come.

NORTH BEACH, BABY

Head downtown and turn left at the Transamerica pyramid, but not before you go behind the building to their little sculpture garden. Bronze frogs and redwood trees make this a nice green spot to re-group before the trek up Columbus to Washington Square Park. In this park that isn't square in the well-used heart of the beach that isn't a beach you will find a little playground full of Chinese kids and their grandparents as well as a great spiral slide. We ate an incredibly ordinary lunch that we enjoyed to spite it simply because Ruth was in a fine mood and Georgia had yet to make a fuss. Testing our luck, which held, we decided on Caffe Trieste for lindzer tarts, carrot cake, and cappucino. How can you not love a city where the famous neighborhood beat joint serves your kid her very own frothed milk in her own demitasse cup, just because?