WASHINGTON PARK

The playground at Washington Park is one of the finest we have visited. There are slides, runways, swings, sand pits and a running water sculpture all geared towards your tot's heart. This alone is enough to visit, not mentioning the proximity to the zoo and museums. But enough of all that. We need to mention something that has been brought to our attention recently, namely, Ruth's dress. "Why is she in the same dress in every picture? Did you just stage everything in one day or something?" The lowdown for those of you who do not live with a girl child who notices what she wears -- the dress so often seen around town is the "princess dress." Ruth named the dress with no coaching from her parents (they dreadfully await the Barbie era) and on certain emotionally charged mornings (read: most days) she does not feel like facing the world without wearing Princess Dress. End of story.

COLUMBIA PARK

Columbia Park is a welcome oasis on the eyesore of Lombard Street. There is an excellent playground nestled in the abundant shade provided by the many Cedar and Doug Firs, a welcome break on those overly sunny days (yes, we know we will probably not be complaining of the oppressive rays come next year after the four month rainy season). This is a good picnic spot after a trip to the Interstate Fred Myers, where you can buy all imaginable consumables then go upstairs and try on a pair of Dockers. Still fresh from the city, the sheer size of Freddys strikes us like we imagine communist era Soviets being awed by stocked shelves. (oh my God! I picked up some work clothes with a roast and a melon in my cart!). We are rubes in these great spaces.

SAUVIE ISLAND BEACH

Sauvie Island, a few miles north of Portland right off highway 30 and within sight of the St. Johns Bridge, is home to innumerable farms, wildlife preserves and scenic wonder. It is also home to a fantastic beach. After you stop by one of the u-pickems to get your blueberries, strawberries, flowers, or whatever is currently in season, keep driving to the shore side and enjoy the river. Note, there is a beach, and a not-so-clothed beach. If you are shy about such things you will be mortified when the deeply tanned naked man who just finished a round of volleyball talks to you about the weather as if his wang wasn't, well, just hanging there.

GIANT PLASTIC SHOPPING CARS

The first person to get sick is also the first person to get better, coinciding with the time everyone else has caught whatever bug that took them down in the first place. When you have a toddler who is happy-healthy-bouncing, a congested baby, a chest that feels caught in a vice and sinuses that won't stop dripping, go shopping! We spent an hour slowly perusing the isles with one of these giant plastic shopping cars, which thrilled and entertained Ruth while allowing her mother and baby sister a slow-motion stroll. Thank you St. Johns Safeway.

PORTLAND BEAVERS BASEBALL

OK, we have to admit, we were sorry to be leaving the home of two major league baseball teams (and one football) but were excited to check out some minor league action at the downtown stadium of the Portland Beavers. It was cool, it was fun, but for a minor league team the prices left us thinking, what are they thinking? Since when can you not still make a gazillion dollars on cheap hot dogs? It was no wonder the stands were sparsely filled when we went for Father's day. Baseball, yes, and you can take the MAX and you can have fun, but good Lord you should be able to buy a snacks without feeling like you have to write it into the budget.

PORTLAND CHILDREN'S MUSEUM

If you are looking for a giant indoor playground (or an escape from the rain) check out the Children's Museum. We have visited several times now and have found the best days to stop by are during the week, unless you enjoy seeing toddlers completely freak out when one wants the plastic broccoli but the other needs for some reason to put said item in the freezer while yet another, soaking wet from the water room, repeatedly bangs the miniature shopping cart into the canned goods. This place is a sure fire winner every time.

MULTNOMAH FALLS

It helps to check out all the regional sights when you're new to the hood, especially when you will be having friends and family visiting with the loaded, "so what's there to do around here?" question; which really means, "so why on earth did you leave your good jobs and move here?"

Multnomah Falls, pronounced just like it looks, is pretty spectacular. Not much to do but gaze at the wonder when you have a couple of critters in tow, but even Ruth was genuinely awed at the sight. You can eat lunch at the lodge, or bring a picnic.

PATTIE'S HOME PLATE CAFE

In downtown St. Johns (8501 N. Lombard) you will find an old fashioned soda fountain and variety store that has the added bonus of having a great big box of toys for your wiggly 2 year old to play with as you wait for your bacon and eggs. The staff is incredibly friendly, quirky, and local. Outside there are several buckets for butts which suggests an AA haunt, but there is no lingering old-fashioned tobacco cloud inside. The food was what you would expect, avoid the potatoes, enjoy the sausage, read your paper and try to figure out the large glass sculpture picture hung in the window. It defies description.

JAMISON PARK, PEARL DISTRICT

New to the Neighborhood just got newer. We have relocated to Portland, Oregon where the weather is fine, the trees are lush, the kids are plentiful and we are unemployed! Until we find someone willing to pay us to show up, we will have more then ample time to find the best baby/toddler spots. Jamison Park, in the Pearl, is one of the first places we found to take a fussy toddler. Jamison Square Fountain between NW Kearney and Johnson and 10th and 11th Avenues William Jamison (which means nothing to us, being new to the hood). The fountain is a focal point of the Square, simulating a shallow tidal pool. Water cascades from stone joints into low pools.

It continuously recirculates treated water For this reason, Ruth probably should not have been body surfing in it. We were cooling off our feet when she decided it would be better to swim. Who could blame her on a beautiful summer day.

OAKLAND A's

OK, babies don't really care about whos on first or whats on second, but you can dress them up to show your home team pride and they get in free. This is key, prices have spiked at the new coliseum since they have closed off the upper deck to "make it a more intimate setting."

FAIRYLAND (um, not free)

I will forever regret not visiting Fairyland sooner. As some of you know, New to the Neighborhood will soon be moving to a new hood, the City of Roses, which removes the possibility of future documentary fame by removing us from proximity to this fantastic amusement park. Located at Lake Merrit, Fairyland is best known for their puppet shows set on various stages throughout. If you miss the shows, you still will have ample entertainment perusing the fairytale sets that hark back to a pre-PC time. Somebody must do a film about this place, it is that good.

FAIR OAKS STREET FAIR (free!)

Every year on the Saturday before Mother's Day, Fair Oaks street drags down the attic boxes, cleans out the closets, rethinks the living room decor, and holds a giant garage sale. And we mean huge! It attracts thousands so come early and get your homemade tamales, lemonade and cookies, new used books/couches/toys/clothes/art/trinkets and treasures. (you may even find a one-of-a-kind for your one of a kind mom).

If it is raining next year, just go the Saturday following Mother's Day, and in between don't forget to mark Fair Oaks down as your Halloween party spot. They absolutely tear it up for the kids.

RED POPPY ART HOUSE: FREE SATURDAYS

You may have noticed at the corner of 23rd and Folsom a pretty painted flower vase on the wall. Or, a while back, a piano that sat outside inviting the public to play. Now, if you go by the Red Poppy Art House on Saturday afternoons, you will see a clatch of kids outside painting, playing with clay, sidewalk drawing or making shadow puppets. Through July, this Gallery and workshop space will be hosting free drop-in art classes for kids. Ruth painted a musing in pink and blue, as well as the drum splat shown here. The volunteers are cheerful, welcoming, and bilingual. Ruth is a little young to truly appreciate what they have to offer (they are really set up for the 5-10 age group) but they were happy to set her up and let her loose in their paints and brushes, which they provided.
Thank you Red Poppy.

CABLE CAR MUSEUM: ALWAYS FREE!

It sounds cheesy, touristy, boring, much like most toddler activities (add a balloon and you have tears too!). It has the requisite kitschy gift shop with plenty of expensive t-shirts and tree ornaments, but everything else in this place is genuine, non-replica interesting. The best part: the museum is housed over the actual working guts of the cables. You have to see it, giant wheels spinning the Powell and California cars on their dedicated routes. For a complete day trip, start out with lunch at the House of Nanking (919 Kearny) and have the sizzling beef. This is one of the very best Chinese joints in the city, bar none. Unless you are a total glutton, you won't leave with that greasy sleepy dim sum feeling, and you don't even have to figure out what to order. Any hesitation over the menu and your server will bark, "you begetarian? you likea beef? you likea chicken? OK, I bring you someting." Just say thank you, it will be great. After lunch, hike all the way up Jackson, go one block left on Mason, check out the giant cables, then have coffee and rhubarb pie at the Gallery Cafe across the street. Walk back down through Chinatown, stop at the playground, enjoy your city.

EXPLORATORIUM, FREE WEDNESDAYS

Visiting this staple of the hands-on museum circuit is always fun for everyone, but do try to make the first Wednesday or you'll get soaked with a $13 admission. (kids, $8, -3 free) Everything there is pokable and prodable, a necessary element for curious kids (and their dads). Ruth visited when she was still on the verge of toddlerhood and found it pretty scary. This recent visit at two years two months proved to be a success, even for her cheap parents are trolling the free days like them dems. Her sister slept through the whole thing, as per usual.

LEGION OF HONOR, FREE TUESDAYS

Take the 38 (or your shared city car, it's way out there) all the way to a couple blocks before Geary turns into the Great Highway to this the Legion of Honor. If you are bringing your toddler go only on the first Tuesday when the $10 admission charge is waived or you may as well just use that Hamilton as TP. This is in no way a reflection on this fine institution, where the collection of statuary is one of the best in the city (not to mention those oozing rich colors of the renaissance) but a reflection of the toddler mind, which would rather be spending its time in the service alley out back, contemplating rocks, pointing out the cigarette butts, asking for a treat. It's "do everything you can for free" month at NTN. Expect much more in the weeks to come.

NORTH BEACH, BABY

Head downtown and turn left at the Transamerica pyramid, but not before you go behind the building to their little sculpture garden. Bronze frogs and redwood trees make this a nice green spot to re-group before the trek up Columbus to Washington Square Park. In this park that isn't square in the well-used heart of the beach that isn't a beach you will find a little playground full of Chinese kids and their grandparents as well as a great spiral slide. We ate an incredibly ordinary lunch that we enjoyed to spite it simply because Ruth was in a fine mood and Georgia had yet to make a fuss. Testing our luck, which held, we decided on Caffe Trieste for lindzer tarts, carrot cake, and cappucino. How can you not love a city where the famous neighborhood beat joint serves your kid her very own frothed milk in her own demitasse cup, just because?

AMBASSADOR TOYS

There are a number of reasons to visit West Portal, one of them is Ambassador Toys, where the sparklies are sectioned into continents, with an entire room for glow in the dark space things. Make sure you get the spinach enchaladas or fish tacos at El Toreador Fonda Restaurant (in eight years a disappointment has yet to cross the plate). Have a hot fudge sundae two doors down after you pick up a Peet's coffee. There is a movie theater across the street that we used to go to before we had kids. Maybe it has gone totally downhill and now screens horror movies and smells like pee, but from the marquee it looks like a nice little art house. Everything is located on the short strip of West Portal Av. that ends in the Muni station, where you can roll your ice cream enchalda stuffed tukus right up the ramp and back on the M, K, or L.

The Tower at the De Young Museum

You might hate it, you might think it looks like a Mayan ruin in the jungle that is, Golden Gate Park. Either way, you might want to go back, as we did. For the price of admission, you get to go to the very tippy top of the Park, and look out over everywhere you've gone.

Golden Gate Park Adventures -- Part One

In the first of what will be a multi-part series on the enormous, wonderous green thing in the middle of our fair City, we start with the windmill. Or, as Ruth calls it, the "Giant Fan." Though we are Giants fans (particularly partial to the other team in the Bay Area), she means the gigantic windmill teeming with Spring flowers (from the record-breaking, never-ending Spring showers) near the ocean side of the park. From there, we continued on to the Bison, closer to the middle. There isn't much to do with the Bison, but is sure is interesting that we have any kind of paddock, let alone a Bison one.

Ruth continues to ask about the Bison and is slowing coming to realize that someone is staying, bringing on epic shyness attacks and temper tantrums to shake the very earth. Otherwise, all is kisses.